Hey Lovelies, Happy Black History Month!! How are you guys? As you know, Valentine’s Day is approaching us, so I thought this blog post would be appropriate. I remember hearing  “Video” by India Arie on the radio numerous times in my childhood. “Video” was one of my mom’s jams, so every time it came on, she would turn the volume up and my sister and I would bop our heads to the melody of the guitar. I remember thinking the song was a bop; the words were catchy, and the beat was refreshing but it wasn’t until I got to high school that I began developing a deeper appreciation for the message that was intertwined in its lyrics. It’s played in the background during some of my most confident moments and during some of my most insecure ones. It’s inspired me. It’s grown me. It’s helped settle me into the young woman that I am today. In celebration of Valentine’s Day, I want to dedicate this week to self-love. Today’s blog post is for the girls who aren’t the “average girl[s] from [a] video,” and learning how to be okay with it.

“I’m not the average girl from your video,”

Let’s be real, since we were little, society has been gnawing the ideas of superficial beauty standards into our minds and making us believe that if we don’t meet them, we aren’t beautiful enough, which leads us to playing the comparison game. With the impact social media has on our lives, it’s easy for us to end up chasing after the beauty/beauty standards of others. Before we know it, we’ve wasted so much time chasing after something we can never achieve and neglecting ourselves in the process. Yes, the girls on Instagram, tv shows and music videos may be pretty, but don’t overlook your own beauty by obsessing over someone else’s. Remember, there is no one in the world who has your combination of features, so FLAUNT them!

“And I ain’t built like a supermodel,”

We’re taught that beauty only exists in specific forms (facial features, shades, hair textures and body shapes), but if truth be told, beauty doesn’t have a definition and exists in various  ways. Though society mainly focuses on outer beauty, inner beauty is the most important and shouldn’t be undervalued. Just as a flower needs nutrients to blossom and become beautiful, we need positive energy and self-love for our beauty to blossom. We are what we are made of, which means our inner self determines our outer self.

“But I learned to love myself unconditionally because I am a queen.”

~India Arie

The first step to loving yourself unconditionally is by learning how to love yourself in the current moment and accepting the flaws that you cannot change. Embrace the queen that you are on the outside, but don’t forget the value of the one on the inside. It’s one thing to look in the mirror and see beauty on the outside, but its another thing to see it peeping through the windows of the soul from the inside. After all, beauty lies in the eye of the beholder.

Happy Self-Love Week Lovelies,

🦋Arlaina🦋