Hello, Lovelies! Long time no see! Well your girl is back again with another blog post. It’s been a little over a week since I made the big 2-0, so I thought it’d be nice to write a letter to my past, present, and future selves. I’ll admit, it took me a good minute to come up with the words I wanted to say, but with help from a scripture that’s been encouraging to me for quite awhile now, the words were finally able to birth themselves. The coolest thing is, is that this inspiring scripture was important to me way before I realized how coincidental the numbers of the chapter and verse are to my life. Anyway, I hope this blog post can be inspiring to anyone who is waiting for their flower to blossom.
Dear Me From The Past,
It was the 3rd month and the 11th day, when the doctor pulled you out of your mother’s stomach and into the world. She had had a troublesome pregnancy, so the doctor decided that it was best, for the both of you, that your life begin a month early. The 3rd month and the 11th day. You could say that your beginnings weren’t so beautiful based off the fact that your mother had just about put her life on the line to give life to you, and that when the doctor made the decision to cut her open, you missed out on the last stage of development in the womb. But who would’ve known that beauty could come from an ugly situation? Who would’ve known that the woman you were destined to be wouldn’t have to stay a seed? You were three pounds and eleven ounces worth of miracle because even though you were premature, you didn’t have any major problems. The only obstacles that you faced were your size and the small amount of matter found on your heart, but doctors were positive that you would pull through.
Eventually, your mother healed and you grew big enough to go home. Believe it or not, God’s been beautifying you ever since; even in this period of puberty that has forced you into an awkward looking stage that only your parents will probably say you are cute in. Though there are times when you feel as though you’ll forever be in this stage, I just want to remind you of that three pound and eleven-ounce baby who could fit comfortably in the palm of her father’s hand. God didn’t leave you there. He didn’t leave you in the NICU. He grew you in perfect timing, and ultimately sent you home. Just remember, “He has made everything beautiful in its time,” and the woman you were destined to be, is transforming into a bud.
Dear Present Day Me,
The 3rd month and the 11th day. It’s hard to believe twenty of those have passed. It’s even harder to believe that one night, you fell asleep a girl and awakened the next morning a woman. Thank God your struggle isn’t as real as it used to be (you cute now boo)! I know you’ve been waiting for the woman that you were destined to be to blossom. You wonder down into the garden of your inner being, hoping that she will be there waiting, with petals falling gorgeously from the center of her bud. Even though she may not be fully developed yet, I’m proud of the journey you have taken to grow her. I’m proud of the fact that you’ve been stretching a little further than usual and reaching for things outside of your comfort zone. I’m proud of the way that you’ve lined your core with patience. Most of all, I’m proud of the choice that you’ve made to allow yourself to share the gift God’s blessed you with and the most intimate part of yourself: your writing. Continue to find excitement in your process and never feel the need to rush your blooming. Though beauty takes time (inner and outer), you should never have to worry that time will run out before you blossom. God has given you all the time you will need to reach the most beautiful peak of your destiny. Just remember, “He has also set eternity in the human heart”. The woman you were destined to be is blossoming.
Dear Me Of The Future,
I pray that your eyes awaken to see numerous 3rd months and 11th days. I pray that many of them, you fall asleep on clouds and awaken in fields of flowers. I pray that you always feel the heat of the sun against your skin, no matter how gloomy the day is. I pray that you find ways to lay down your insecurities and doubts. I pray that you grow in faith and never fear to exercise its abilities. I pray that you grow so strong in it, that you take leaps of faith with the belief that God will catch you before you fall. I pray that you grow boldly and fearlessly, and that there is no monster ugly enough to scare you away from living life to its fullest. I pray that you take womanhood by the hand, and treat her as your best friend; never running from nor crumbling underneath her heavy demands. I pray that when you look up towards the sky and see the stars, that you don’t see constriction, instead, I pray that you see boundless opportunities.
I pray that your beauty oozes out of your pores, and your eyes are always sensitive to its sight. I pray that you receive love that is more than skin deep, and I pray that you give it away in the same manner (but only to those who are worthy of having it). I pray that there are no periods where you feel so empty inside, that not even the love from yourself or God is good enough to make you whole again. I pray, that if there is ever a time you fall down, and can’t seem to muster up the strength to stand, that you know the place where you have stumbled, doesn’t have be the place where your story ends. Just remember, “No one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.” I love you and I know that the woman you have become is every bit of the gorgeous flower I’ve always daydreamed she’d be.
“He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end”
(Ecclesiastes 3:11)
I LOVE to LOVE YOU Girl,
Arlaina *inserts butterfly emoji*
TheBlackGirlWhoCould.com 